we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
