Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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