Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
