We're facebook friends in real life
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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