college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
