i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
