party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
