I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
