this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
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