we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
