susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
