Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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