so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
