The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
