idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
