I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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