You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
