please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
