that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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