so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
