Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Sorry my hands just texted you
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
It's rum buckets o'clock
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
