Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
