We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
