Nicole vs. Life
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
