i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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