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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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