WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize