Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
