you guys were way drunker than both of me
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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