You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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