that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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