This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Fuck me I smell like cheese
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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