If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
