Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize