You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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