my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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