he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
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