is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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