honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
