It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
