So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize