Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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