so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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