Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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