just tell him i said nine months
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
