the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Randomize
