yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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