I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
