fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize