Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
