I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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