We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
