ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
