Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
