I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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