I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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