it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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