He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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