bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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