i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
