I wanna passion pit in your ass
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
