im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
There was a lot of him and a little penis
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Randomize
